The darkness of loneliness can’t be fought directly. That’s something essential everyone should understand: there are some fundamental things that can’t be changed. And this is one of them: you can’t fight with the darkness, the loneliness, or the fear of isolation directly. Because none of those things exist; they’re simply absences of something, just like darkness is the absence of light.
Then what do you do when you don’t want the room to be dark? You don’t do anything directly with the darkness, do you? You can’t push it out. There’s no possibility of creating any scheme to make the darkness disappear. You must do something with the light. And that changes the entire situation. That’s why I call it something essential, the foundation…You don’t even touch the darkness; you don’t think of it. There’s no reason why; it doesn’t exist, it’s just an absence.
So, just bring light to the place and you won’t find the darkness anymore, because it was the absence of light, just the absence of light – not something physical, with its own being, not something that exists. But simply because the light was not there, you had the false sensation of the darkness’ existence.
You can go ahead fighting the darkness for all your life and you won’t be successful, but just a little candle is enough to disperse it. You need to work for the light because it’s positive, existential; it exists by itself. And once the light comes, anything that was its absence disappears.
Loneliness is similar to the darkness.
You don’t know your solitude. You haven’t experienced solitude and its beauty, its tremendous power, its strength. Solitude and loneliness are synonyms in the dictionary, but existence doesn’t follow dictionaries. And no one has ever tried to make an existential dictionary that wouldn’t contradict with existence.
Loneliness is absence.
Because you don’t know your solitude, there’s fear. You feel alone and then you want to hold on to something, to someone, to some relationship, just to keep the illusion that you’re not alone. But you know you are – therefore the pain. On one side, you’re holding on to something that’s not real, that’s just some temporary arrangement – a relationship, a friendship.
And when you’re in a relationship, you can create a little illusion to forget your loneliness. But that’s the problem: even if you can forget your solitude for a moment, in the next moment you suddenly become conscious that the relationship or friendship is not permanent. Yesterday, you didn’t know that men or that woman, you were unknown. Today, you’re friends – who knows about tomorrow? Tomorrow you can be strangers again – hence the pain.
The illusion gives some consolation, but it can’t create the reality that makes all fears disappear. It represses the fear, so on the surface you feel good – at least you try to feel good. You pretend you’re feeling good to yourself: how wonderful is this relationship, how wonderful is this man or this woman. But behind the illusion – and the illusion is so thin you can see through it – there’s pain in the heart, because the heart knows perfectly well that tomorrow things may not be the same...and they are not the same.
Come meet the practices and meditations used in Metamorphosis Centre. You will meet a new methodology that dissolves the mental processes generators of isolation, learning how to relate with your intimacy, your most intimate nature, and how to deal with your emotions in a healthy way.
Come meet good people, sincere and selfless, who also got frustrated and disappointed with social order, which oppresses the human’s feelings. We’ll be very pleased to receive you to meet our community and our support groups to your personal development.
You can trust on Metamorfose Centre.